11 02 12
A band of the seniors gathered at the club to say a thank you to Wallace for all his work in running the Seniors section over the last few years. Wallace was solely instrumental in resurrecting the seniors and pivotal in ensuring its sustainability and success.
Captain John Lenaghan and myself presented Wallace with a memento signed by all his friends at the club.
Glad to see you are back to good health Wallace, the whisky industry was starting to get a little worried.
I am sure we will see you at the club and it would be great to see you out there playing again.
Seniors Captain
John McConnell
14 12 11
Congratulations to Wallace and John for another very successful year for the Seniors. As the section goes from strength to strength which culminated in a well supported AGM and Christmas dinner. Thank you to club captain Mr Alun Genner for representing the main club. Wallace opened the meeting with the secretaries report stating that we were well supported throughout the year and the section was in a very good position.
After giving details of the financial position of the section he explained that fifty pence added to the competitions fees would be transferred to the main section of the club on a monthly basis.
A proposal that the officers of the section had a mandate to fluctuate the competition fees depending on the level of club funds was agreed by majority.
John McConnell gave details of the matches played this year plus announced the winners of the winter eclectic and Walmac trophy.
Winter Eclectic: 1st Jimmy Kane, 2nd Sam Robinson, 3rd John Smith.
Walmac trophy 1st Shamus.
The meeting was followed by a Christmas lunch and a rendering from the club bard Mr John Mitchell.
"Coffin dodgers tour is here again, all bright and supa dupa"
Sponsored by the NHS and our good friend Mr Bupa.
Plastic hips dodgy knees, play three times a week, never miss
Even manage to get up four times a night busting for a pxxs.
Every Wednesday in the shop, it's two pounds fifty how much,
medal again, yellow or white tees, sign the book confusion everywhere,
Jeff smiles and takes the cash, the Weldon millionaire.
A frosty morn or rain that gets you wetter and wetter,
Does not bother McConnell, he never wears a sweater
He's always Mr Cool, done us proud for years
But hold him up for a hole and smoke comes out his ears.
Jack Marr retired and on his bike
to Scotland went to trace his roots
Poor man got bloody soaked
the Jocks stole all his suits.
Usain Bolt and Lewis Hamilton were playing the course and the story it is true
After two holes a cry from Davy Smith "Are you gonna let us through"
A runaway trolley down the hill, Eddie cried "Oh! shit"
Set after it in hot pursuit and fell arse over tit.
Poor John Muir's concern was there for all to see
I hope he marked my card, I got a 5 for 3.
Joe Fisher joined the section his handicap caused a buzz
Bough his clubs from Dick Turpin in his shop Bandit's R US.
A county final was held here, Ian had the course a joy to see
Tam said "That's great, I'm off to Kettering to get a round for free"
Shay ran over him, to him it was no trouble
But because it was a Sunday, he charged him double bubble.
Now not to mention our gardener of me would be remiss
All that tales of slow play you've got to take the pxxs
He's just come back from Cambodia and soon got in the swing.
Has he fell asleep yells Jimmy Kane hit the bloody thing
The rumours they have started, the SAS are sniffing about
They want to know where Gus was when Gaddafi was taken out
John Mitchell
The annual tiddlywinks competition was a hard fought battle with Jeff edging Willie out with yorikiri and itchy scrotum in the final bashee.
Biggest boobies of the day was a close call but Davy edged it with his 38 D cup, if he wears it sideways.
Joe Fisher won the read newspaper from six feet away. He couldn't actually read it but he reckoned he could still see it.
Also thank you to Joe who asked me for a rebate because he overpaid his subscriptions last year. I looked rebate up in my dictionary but it isn't there. Sorry Joe I don't know what it is.
Thank you to the strippers, although we don't think the shouts of "Get em on" was very nice at Christmas time.
Rest of the chunters enjoying the festive fare.
Thank you for your support last year and a Merry Christmas and a Happy new year to one and all.
Wallace and John
The Government has
issued a travel warning due to the expected cold weather.
They suggest
that anyone travelling in icy conditions should make sure they have the
following:
Shovel
Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including hat and gloves
24 hours worth of food
Bottle of water
De-Icer
Rock Salt
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road Flares or Reflective Triangles
Full Petrol Can
First Aid Kit
Booster cables
I looked like a right idiot on the bus this morning
McConnell
Update from the Seniors ramble to Pidley.
Thank you to Wallace for organising such a great trip. Despite the wind he did manage to keep the rain away for the whole three days while we were playing.
We also had two civil ceremonies whilst we were away.
Rob Gordon betrothed his undying love for Andy Tulloch from Pebbles
(pronounced Too luck of peeb less). He vowed never to leave his side and
true to his word he stayed with him for the whole three days.
Tommy the Tanker also made a lifetime commitment to his dear friend Jackie
Burns. Jackie also agreed to change his name to Byrne to demonstrate his
devotion to the Tanker. The Tanker also vowed never to play golf with anyone
else again. Wallace spotted the love in their eyes and allowed them all to
play as a fourball on the last day. It was really nice and they all came in
with the same score. Makes your arse weep, doesn't it. As it was they had
the high score so I had to get involved and make sure somebody else won the
day, you can't have love birds taking the money. CoaB.
I would like to thank all the people who were invited to the reception after
the weddings and managed to sing till four thirty in the morning. The
reception happened to be two feet from my bedroom door. It was a pleasure to
listen to Rab Gordon singing "My Prayer" 8 times in one night. And if Joe
Fisher sings "Together Again" one more time I will empty my thingy bag over
his head. Their in depth discussion on the relevant benefits of different
haemorrhoidal creams at three in the morning is enough to tell them where to
shove their creams.
Luckily I managed to find a new property in the country next to Davy Byrne
for the next night. Then I stayed up to three in the morning the next
singing outside their bedrooms door. Good fun.
Some
of the sad ones practicing the day before the trip
Davy
just told Jack that the Tanker was disqualified for kissing Jackie on the
third.
The
parliament in session
Two
hours later, the parliament still in session.
The
seniors Nature Boy equivalent Mr Andrew Tulloch who was rarely photographed
with his kit on.
Brian
and Andrew enjoying Jack's scintillating conversation. They are both sound
asleep.
Just
before we set off to the night club.
Breakfast
time
Robert
still shixxin practicing.
Joe
who missed the team photo as he was going through a particularly difficult
evacuation at the time.
Team
photo pointing towards the club house. Brian is asking John if he would like
to do a civil ceremony.
Team
photo pointing away from the club house. That's Brian's hand on John's
shoulder. We are awaiting the good news.
Robert
asking Tommy and Jackie how they popped the question to each other. He
wanted to know how to approach Andrew.
Well done guys, a most enjoyable three days with some good golf. Shame nobody got a three and win the money.
Wallace
Update from 07 07 2011
Seniors Open Day
With the weather being very kind during the whole day it was a most
enjoyable 2011 Seniors Open day.
Well supported by players from visiting clubs the course was presented in
prime condition from Ian and his team.
Well
done to Graham Dork who was this years overall winner.
Thank you to the two Johns and Wallace again for giving
up their valuable time to administer the competition.
Thank
you to Dot, Maria and Mae for sorting us out in the morning.
It nearly turned out to be a Lenaghan benefit day with
both John and Arthur having a good day.
The prize winners, well done to
everyone who won a prize. We were particularly pleased that the Oundle
members fared so well.
The
Hellidon Lakes crew with Jack Burns. We were a bit concerned about their
whereabouts for a while.
Some of the players enjoying a well earned refreshment
Well done and thank you for your support.
John McConnnell
Seniors Captain
Update from 20 12 2010
The Seniors Tour sponsored by BUPA and SAGA Holidays.
According to Jeff most of us are GAGA
In his shop its - got a pen--
Change a fiver, don’t forget to sign the book
Dementia in the air.
He takes the money with a smile
Weldons Secret Millionaire by a mile
Bernard came from Oundle,
quite a culture shock
Now as well as A level English
He speaks a little Jock
How now brown cow.
On the first Tee
Morning chaps good luck.
Hold up on the second and its
Awe Common Tae Fxxx
On a cold and frosty morning
Twas brass monkies I do not Jest
On the Tee McConnell,
Tee shirt and no vest.
He thinks the modern footballers
Are having a larf
Gloves and Tights and that snood thing
Called a scarf.
In the early morning
Winners
Open Champion
Kevin Simpkin 41 Points
71 years plus
1st John Gill 38 pts
2nd Andy Tulloch 37 pts
3rd James Smith 37 ps
61-70 year olds
1st Mick O'Sullivan 38 pts
2nd Ian Wilson (Tug) 36 pts
3rd Robin Wright 35 Pts
50-60 year olds
1st John Cullen 41 pts
2nd Alec McCardie 38 pts
3rd Pat Annand 37 pts
Guest Prize
Brian Sinfield 38 points
Nearest Pins
Dave Wissen, Bill Crossan, Robin Wright, Arthur Leneghan
Longest Drive
Michael Gatherum all the way from St. Andrews truly the longest drive.
I would like to thank our Ladies section in particular our Lady Captain Dorothy Bennett, May Crossan and Maria Kealy
who have helped to enable the smooth and very successful running of this years event.
Well done to all the players including our members and the 24 visitors for making this a memorable day.
Further Thanks to the following people:-
Tombola prizes Henry Graham, John smith, Kevin Simpkin, John Gill, Dorothy and Alan Bennett and Bill Cummings.
Trophy sponsored by John Smith.
To Jeff our Professional for his help with the Green Fees and Discount for prizes.
To the Greens staff in their excellent presentation of the course.
To David and his staff for the meal and coffees, plus the bar staff for quenching the thirst of our players.
To Henry Graham for stepping in at the last minute to Start us off and take the piccies.
To John Dowell, John McConnell Dorothy Bennett and Alan Bennett for all the administrative work.
To Wallace McFarlane for the Prize winners photos.
Thanks
Bernard Rallison
The thoughts of John Mitchell Esq.
Congratulations Dave, the meal was supa dupa,
sponsored by help the aged, and bupa.
Plastic hips, replacement knees and other dodgy joints,
yet, as usual, the winner had over 40 points!
Tiger woods wins all the majors, and gets plenty on the side,
most of us need Viagra, just to get our monthly ride!
No health worries for Davy Smith, he's like a 2 year old colt,
the only man to pass him on the course the sprinter Usain Bolt!
Round the course in 3 hours fills him full of joy,
the last time he let someone through the Pope was just an alter boy!
His partner John Mc Connell, he's not any better,
it's got to be minus 6 before he wears a sweater.
Now not to mention this man of me would be remiss,
our own prince of slow play, you've got to take the piss!
At the crack of dawn, dew still on the grass,
in the immortal words of Jimmy Kane, he needs a rocket up his arse!
Through the year at an ungodly hour, he plants shrubs and seeds and flowers,
then tees off in rain sun or gloom,
and when he finishes his round, the flowers are in bloom!
Wallace in full highland braveheart gear resigned, this is the full story, he cannae work wi' Roland, he's English, and a TORY!
Now in our midst we have a man of talent, been it, seen it, done it, he's known all over town!
The first men to climb Mt. Everest, the worlds highest peak,
saw this note left by Gus, I was here last week!
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